It takes a lot to bother me. But the other day someone said something to me that is still bothering me. Maybe because it was an unsolicited comment. Or maybe because I'm 22 weeks pregnant and my body is changing beyond my control to nurture another life. Regardless, I'm not writing about this for sympathy or to be complimented. At this point the damage has been done. I'm writing this as a reminder that our words have an affect on others and to be mindful of not just what we say to another, but how we say it as well.
So what was said to me? Short version. I was minding my business faxing an important document. I hear someone say, "wow, your thighs." I pay no attention because I don't think the words are directed at me. Then I hear it again and hear, "your thighs have gotten large." I turn around to look at the person talking and realize that the comments are directed at me. I then proceed to hear again and again how large my thighs have gotten and that I'm gaining too much weight.
You get the point.
I didn't respond how I wish I had responded. Instead I tried to justify that I've always had large, muscular legs from my days of playing soccer. I shouldn't have had to "justify" anything. I shouldn't have had to hear unsolicited comments about my body, especially during a time when I'm growing a child. It's hard enough for me to see my body change out of my control, and yes I know it is for a good cause, but to hear someone come after me and break me down is really not acceptable. Maybe she thought she was doing me a favor? Maybe she thought we were "cool" enough for her to give me her opinion on my body. Unfortunately that relationship will now be over and I will limit all unessential contact with that person. And now I'm the one that is still days later feeling horrible about myself.
If you take nothing else from this just remember that words can hurt. We don't always know what someone is going through or has gone through until we have walked a mile in their shoes. And one of the oldest lessons we learned (or should have learned) is that if you don't have anything nice (or as I view it positive, uplifting, useful, constructive...) to say, don't say anything at all.
